By Kristin ("KC") Cunningham
The famous American professor Dana Stewart Scott once said, “Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later.” Regrettably, I did not follow Scott’s prudent advice. When I was 21 years old, I recall driving in my champagne colored 1983 Oldsmobile, Cutlass Supreme, back to Portland from Corvallis, after enrolling in two terms at Oregon State University (OSU). At the time, I felt that I “needed a break” from school. Hence, I retreated to my comfortable surroundings, where my mom, sister, grandma, and most my friends were living. I barely thought the situation through. When I got back to Portland, I scored a job as a receptionist at a local hair salon. I thought, “This will certainly be temporary.”
Leading up to my stint at OSU, I studied at Mount Hood Community College (MHCC) for two years. At MHCC, I was an exemplary student; I maintained a high GPA and I was serious about my schooling. But once I moved to Corvallis to attend OSU, everything changed for me. I partied a lot – I’m embarrassed to admit – I skipped class often, and I barely studied. At the young and naive age of 21, my heart and mind were not focused on school any longer.
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| Oregon State University, Corvallis OR |
There were likely a couple substantial reasons why I did not do well at OSU: First, I was sheltered all my life. Growing up, I lived with a close-knit, Catholic family, who expected me to stay out of trouble and I obliged. I had always been considered a very good kid and I never wanted to give my parents anything to be troubled about.
Honestly though, by 21, I was tired of being “the good girl.” I wanted to let go of that label for a while and live an enlivening, adventurous life, in a new town. Clearly, my reasons for enrolling in school at the time were not wholly centered on education. That was not the only thought nagging at me. I had some deeper inner turmoil haunting me as well.
Honestly though, by 21, I was tired of being “the good girl.” I wanted to let go of that label for a while and live an enlivening, adventurous life, in a new town. Clearly, my reasons for enrolling in school at the time were not wholly centered on education. That was not the only thought nagging at me. I had some deeper inner turmoil haunting me as well.
Three weeks before my 21st birthday, my dad died, after suffering for years, from a horrible disease. This was right before I left for school in Corvallis. Honestly, I was not really in a good place internally. Rather, I was grief-stricken and tired of worrying about my parents’ many health problems (my mom was sick as well). Looking back on that time, I recall wanting to have fun, without any cares or concerns for a change. Growing up – from about age 10 to age 30 – life was about survival – for my dad, and then for my mom – and hence always for my younger sister and me, who became responsible for our parents.
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| Cunningham Family (& cousin Geoff) |
Therefore, perhaps out of a newly rebellious spirit, or out of anguish, or maybe just for a desired change, I partied relentlessly until my GPA at OSU took a nosedive. When I got a lousy 1.00 in Winter term, 2001, I "provisionally" left school and told myself I’d be back soon. My education had gone from something to be proud of - to shame - in just six months time.
It’s now 2010 and regrettably, I still don’t have a bachelor's degree. In my opinion, it was a mistake not to stay in school, no matter what my life circumstances were. John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." That's what happened to me too--life got in the way, and school subsequently fell to the wayside. Sorry to say, as a young woman, I did not realize the significance of what quitting school would mean for my professional, as well as personal, endeavors. Once older, finding time for an education is no easy task.
Personally, not having a college degree has meant earning less and working in stressful, service-sector positions that I do not find rewarding. Options are severely limited. I know this is not true for everyone who did not get their college degree (take the brilliant and wealthy Bill Gates as a great example), but alas, it has been (mostly) true for me. (Note: I did have meaningful and well-paid work at the American Red Cross, but it was highly stressful and not a right fit for me).
Moreover, Now that I’m 31 years old, I’ve learned the valuable lesson that statistically, “people with a Bachelor’s degree earn over 60 percent more on average than those with only a high school diploma. Over a lifetime, the gap in earning potential between a high school graduate and someone with a B.A. (or higher) is more than $1 million” (US Census; italics added by me).
Furthermore, by not completing my degree, I’ve felt a loss of confidence in my social and professional life; without earning my degree, I often wonder, “what have I accomplished”? and "what are my professional skills?" I also feel like I start things, but often don’t finish them This has to stop; I must reach my life goals. I also need to feel confident about what I have to offer society. By completing the elusive BA, I think I will be able to gain back some of my lost confidence.
What's more, the desire to learn about different peoples, cultures, systems - about the world - and about myself, has driven me to consider enrolling in college once more. As Martin Luther King, Jr. insightfully stated, “The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.”
Thinking about re-enrolling, though, I felt frightened. Could I really excel in school, or would I fail and drop out again? And If I quit again, what would people think of me? Did I have the stamina, mind-set, and time for school? How would I pay for college; it is expensive and therefore, I would need to take out loans. These were some of the scary thoughts that swirled through my head. I was distraught for a long time and I sincerely wondered if I was too dumb for school. Isn’t that sad, to feel so insecure? Nevertheless, I took the plunge, despite my worries and self-doubt.
Back to School Again
Consequently, 10 years after I decided to “take a break” from college, I’m back in the swing of things. In March of 2010, I re-registered for Oregon State University. I can tell you, I am so happy that I did not give up on school for good.
I’ve now been in college for three consecutive terms at OSU. Since being back in college, I have received all A’s and one B+. I’ve made Honor-Roll each term, which feels great. I have about one year to go, and then I should finally have my Bachelor's degree. I am so pleased and truthfully elated regarding my educational accomplishments since I’ve been in school over the past nine months.
It’s not just about the grades though. Being in school again has been an amazing and enriching experience. I love school, as I never have before. Studying for school after experiencing more about the real world has proven to be highly beneficial. In the end, real world experience, plus education, equals a serious and interested student. At least that’s what happened in my life. The education I've received about the world has changed me and opened my eyes. History, culture, race issues, language, science, social structures – there is a plethora of information out there – which we can all learn from, in order to make our society a more equitable place to live for everyone.
The day I put on a cap and gown, I will be a new woman – one who is confident, overjoyed and energized – to have fulfilled the goal of earning a Bachelor’s degree. Just thinking about the prospect excites me!
To be clear though, college is certainly not for everyone; to make things easier, a person should be interested, committed, and determined to start - and complete - school. It’s not trouble-free, especially as an adult. I don’t blame anyone who hasn’t had the time to go back to college. Luckily, for the first time in a decade, I have an opportunity to focus solely on school - and the chance I've been given feels like a God-send. For most people though, family, work – life – simply gets in the way. That’s why only 29 percent of Americans have a Bachelor’s degree (Yamamoto, 2007). I’ve learned this lesson the hard way. However, my experience, over the last decade has been heartening, even if the road I took was more difficult than I needed to make it. I suppose that is what life is about, right? We all live and learn, and each of us takes a different path.
In conclusion, I finally decided that going back to school to complete my degree in higher education would be the most beneficial step for me to take at this point in my life. The decision, so far, has proven to be a successful one. In fact, a lovely quote about education states that, “The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows” (Sydney J. Harris). Indeed, my mirrors have turned into windows, and the view outside is beautiful.
